Barry Hutchison
About Author
Barry Hutchison is a multi-award-winning author of books for children and teenagers. He lives halfway up a mountain in the Highlands of Scotland, where he spends his days writing stories, walking his dog, and wrestling wolves*.
He is the author of the terrifying Invisible Fiends series, the not-quite-so-terrifying Shark-Headed Bear-Thing, and also writes for the only mildly alarming Beano comic.
Barry also wrote most of the CITV comedy series, Bottom Knocker Street, starring Phill Jupitus, and played a pivotal role in the invention of the vaccuum cleaner**.
Barry shares a house with his wife and two children, who very rarely see him, and has a morbid fear of being eaten by squirrels***.
*this is a lie
**this is also a lie
***this, however, is completely true.
Interview
NIGHT OF THE LIVING TED
STRIPES PUBLISHING
OCTOBER 2018
We were thrilled to chat with author BARRY HUTCHISON about his funny (and a little scary) new series for readers aged 7+ - brimful of twists, battered bears and magic and with a mystery to solve!
Beware! The teddies in NIGHT OF THE LIVING TED are not your average cuddly cuties; think more 'zombie' and 'witch' bears - and one that wants to rule the world!
When Lisa Marie and her step-brother Vernon pop into town to get their dad a birthday present, they discover the Create-a-Ted shop is offering free Halloween bears. While making the grisly bears is fun, what happens after midnight that night isn't something to be laughed at...
We asked BARRY HUTCHISON to tell us more about NIGHT OF THE LIVING TED:
Q: Why did you decide to write a scary books for younger readers?
A: When I was young, I was terrified of pretty much everything in the world. Dogs. Cats. Goldfish. High places. Confined spaces. Wide open spaces. You name it, I was scared of it. It was only when I started growing out of that constant state of terror that I realised how much fun it was to be scared.
That feeling of your heart racing and your knees knocking is really exciting, so I wanted to try to recreate that with some scary books. They're funny, too, because I think screaming with fear and screaming with laughter are quite closely connected.
Q: In the book, step siblings Lisa-Marie and Vernon find themselves in a battle against some armed, and dangerous, teddy bears. Seriously, teddies? Evil??
A: My gran used to collect old dolls and teddies, and her house was full of these creepy, threadbare things with eyes hanging out and ears missing. They used to terrify me, so they were partly responsible for the horrible teddies in this book.
I also think it's fun when the less obvious things turn out to be scary. Anyone can make a giant flesh-eating monster scary, but a cute and cuddly teddy bear? That's a fun challenge to write.
Q: Which of your childhood toys spooked you the most?
A: It wasn't actually a childhood toy, but one I was given as a gift when I was about 25. It was a talking interactive Yoda from Star Wars, that I placed next to my bed. It's supposed to react when you do anything to it - lift it up and it tells you to put it down, for example. One night, I was woken up around 3am by Yoda whispering in a low, scratchy voice: "See you, I can."
I almost died with fright, and it spent the rest of its life at the back of a cupboard in another room.
Q: To write this book, you would need to know how to 'build' teddies. So, were (m)any 'build-a-bears' harmed in the making/researching of your book?
A: Both my son and daughter were OBSESSED with Build-a-Bear when they were younger. I've spent hours in those shops, waiting in line for the stuffing machine, and typing up birth certificates. I'm pretty sure I could fill in for staff members if they ever get sick, I've been through the process so often.
I always thought there was something creepy about them, too, though. When you first walk in, you see all those racks with unstuffed teddy bear skins. Just these limp pieces of fur with glassy eyes gazing hopefully at the children in the shop, pleading to be taken home. There's something a bit disturbing about it. Or maybe that's just me...
Q: Your evil teddies come in all sorts of shapes and evilness. Which one do you feel gets the best costume?
A: I think the witch bears have it pretty good. Not only do they get flying broomsticks, they get all-powerful magic wands, too. The other bears can't really compete with that. All the werewolf bears can do is howl a bit and pee against lamp posts, for example, which isn't nearly as impressive. I also like the alien bear costumes, but only because I'd really like to have my own jetpack.
Q: Aside from the costumes, do you have a favourite bear, or two, in the story?
A: My two favourite bears have to be Grizz and Bearvis (not necessarily in that order.) I love how evil Grizz is - he just does what he wants, and doesn't care about the consequences.
As a lifelong Elvis Presley fan, I loved writing Bearvis and throwing in lots of little Elvis references. Writing his dialogue was a lot of fun, too, and I found myself saying it out loud in an Elvis style voice when I was writing it. I was also singing, 'A Little Less Hibernation' for months after writing the book.
Q: And do any of Lee Cosgrove's illustrations of the bears stand out for you?
A: All of them! Lee's illustrations are all amazing, and I'm lucky to have him working on the books. The first appearance of Bearvis really stands out for me, but there isn't a single illustration that doesn't perfectly capture the characters. It isn't a bear, but the illustration of Vernon with a giant head literally made me laugh out loud. The expression on his massive face is priceless.
Q: Do you have more adventures planned for the Teddy Bear Animator machine?
A: Yes! There are two more books planned in the series. Next up is 'Revenge of the Living Ted,' which will be coming in 2019. If you think the teddies in this book are scary, just wait until you meet those guys.
Q: One of Lisa-Marie's hobbies is collecting words like 'agog' and 'stipulation'. Do you, as an author, have a 'word collection'?
A: No, but I definitely should start one. Whenever I hear an interesting new word, I spend some time finding out the meaning, remember it for about a day, then completely forget it again. I have a terrible memory, so I should probably start writing new words I come across in a big book of some kind. Although, I suppose that's just a dictionary, and someone has already beat me to the idea.
So, I suppose I do have a word collection - I have a dictionary!
Q: Writing books is hard work. What keeps you at your desk - and what is your worst distraction?
A: Don't tell the publisher, but I've never found writing to be hard work. I've always written, and would write all day long if I could get away with it. I get up at 6am every day so I can squeeze in some extra writing before my family gets up, and have an office where I can go to write without any distractions.
At least, that's the idea, but I stupidly brought my Playstation and the new Spider-Man game into my office a few weeks back, and increasingly find myself swinging around New York when I should be writing.
Q: What are you writing now?
A: Right now, I'm putting the finishing touches to the third Living Ted book, ready for Lee to start work on the illustrations. After that, I'm writing another in my 'Space Team' science fiction comedy series for adults, and a few episodes of an animated series for US TV.
Q: Have you planned an event around Night of the Living Ted?
A: Events are my second favourite bit about being an author (with the writing part being first) but to say I 'plan' my events is being generous. Each event is very interactive, and lots of the content is heavily improvised to keep it as fresh and fun as possible. I like to think of it as book-based stand-up comedy for kids. :)
SPECTRE COLLECTORS: TOO GHOUL FOR SCHOOL
NOSY CROW BOOKS
OCTOBER 2017
BARRY HUTCHISON'S sharp and funny new Spectre Collectors series - inspired by the hit film Ghostbusters - will have children entertained and giggling in the run-up to Halloween!
Although you will never see them, the Spectre Collectors are out there, catching ghosts to help keep us safe! Like most people, Denzel knows nothing about them - until the day he spots something black, with tentacles, hovering on the dining room wall, and two teenagers burst through the wall of his house... His life will never be the same again.
Here, BARRY HUTCHISON tells us more about TOO GHOUL FOR SCHOOL!
Q: Did the film Ghostbusters help inspire this story about teenagers grappling with ghouls?
A: Yes! I loved Ghostbusters, and still do. There was no cinema where I grew up, so I think I was about nine or ten when I first saw the film on TV, and I was immediately hooked.
A friend of mine and I formed our own ghost-hunting organisation, which we called the Spectre Collectors, and that's where the name of the book series comes from. We didn't have magic or fancy gadgets, though, just my mum's vacuum cleaner, which was rubbish for catching ghosts.
Q: Can you describe a typical Spectre Collector from your new series?
A: As you'll discover through the series, there's no such thing as a typical Spectre Collector. The only thing they have in common is that they're all children and teenagers, as they're better equipped to see the supernatural than grown-ups are.
The organisation is split into two groups - Oberon and Vulteron. Those in the Oberon division use magic, while the Vulterons have gadgets and weapons. The Vulterons are more military-like than the creative, often quite scatty Oberons, but there are all different personality types within each section.
Q: If you were a ghost catcher, what would your skill be?
A: Screaming and running away. I'd probably be the distraction while everyone else actually dealt with it. It'd be so busy watching me rocking back and forward in a corner and crying that it wouldn't notice the rest of the team sneaking up behind it.
Q: And your weapon of choice?
A: Loud sobbing and hot tears of shame.
Q: How long did it take you to write the first Spectre Collectors book and how many are you planning to write?
A: The first book took about three months to write, but it had been buzzing around in my head for a few years, maturing like a... smelly cheese. Or something. Only nicer. There will be at least four books in the series, and possibly more, so lots of spooky fun still to come.
Q: Quinn heads up the Spectre Collectors, she's super-organised and quite ruthless. Did any film character - or a real person! - inspire her?
A: She's based on an old boss of mine (who I won't name). She was ultra-efficient and could silence a room with a single look, so Quinn was modelled on her, and then named after my dog!
Q: Your main character, Denzel's, special ability is that he can actually see the ghosts. Why did you want him to be able to do that?
A: I wanted to mark Denzel out as special right from the start. He's minding his own business in the first chapter when he is attacked by a poltergeist. Poltergeists are, according to legend, invisible ghosts that manifest by throwing things around.
While many people have claimed to see ghosts over the years, no-one has ever seen a poltergeist, so having Denzel see it immediately establishes that there's something different about him. Just how different, you'll just have to wait and see...
Q: Unlike the Ghostbusters, you seem to have some sympathy for your ghouls. Why have you introduced that element?
A: It's something I've always wondered about, really. If ghosts are the spirits of the dead, then why are they always so horrible in movies and books?
With a few exceptions, ghosts are always the bad guys, and while there are certainly lots of bad ghosts in the Spectre Collectors series, there are others who just want to go about their business, and don't mean anyone any harm. They're just like people, really - some are bad, some are good - except they can float through walls or make their heads explode into tentacles, or whatever.
Q: Who is your favourite ghoul from this book - and what special creatures are you planning for your future books?
A: I can't really say who my favourite ghost is from this book as it's a bit of a spoiler. Let's just say it's the least scary ghost in the story, and leave it at that.
There are all kind of spooky nasties coming up in the series. One of my favourites is an enormous ghost Megalodon shark that terrorizes the streets of New York in book two.
Q: Given that we're approaching Halloween, what has been your scariest ghostly happening?
A: I haven't personally ever seen a ghost, but my son used to wake up screaming during the night about 'the man' standing in the corner of his room. He was apparently green and made a sound like radio static, and would stare at him during the night.
I remember running through one night when my son was around two, and he was screaming about the man. As he pointed at the corner, one of my son's toys that was behind me in the room made a loud 'roar' sound. I almost died. Weirdly enough, it all stopped when we moved out of that house, so who knows...?
Q: Where wouldn't you like to have to spend the night on Halloween?
A: In a small tent with a large hippo. That applies to any other night, too, in fact. I don't actually get that scared of 'spooky places' these days, because I can sleep through anything, so even if there was a full-scale paranormal invasion going on, I probably wouldn't wake up.
Q: What is your favourite moment in the book?
A: I love the supermarket battle, where Denzel is getting his first taste of the Spectre Collectors in action. He takes cover behind a checkout, and is terrified when he sees what he thinks is a white ghost fluttering towards him, before realising it's just a carrier bag.
Q: Your ghosts might be scary but this book is also very funny. How do you make your readers chuckle?
A: I've never set out to make readers laugh at all. It's not something I consciously do, really, but even if I try to write 'serious' stuff, it ends up as comedy.
I've always loved funny books, and the characters I create are usually quite sarcastic, or silly or satirical, and the comedy just comes from them. I'm quite surprised by a lot of the things they say.
Q: Where do you write?
A: Anywhere! I have an office at home, but I'm often out touring or doing school visits or whatever, so I write on trains, in hotels, and anywhere I can sit my laptop down, basically.
Q: What are your top tips for young writers who want to write something scary?
A: Don't just go for blood and guts. People being ripped apart by werewolves or monsters isn't scary. People thinking they're about to be ripped apart by werewolves or monsters, and trying desperately to get away - that's scary.
We're always afraid of what might happen, because we always think the worst. A creaky floorboard in an empty house is actually much scarier to read about than someone getting their head chopped off or something like that. Basically, less is more!
WORLD'S GREATEST LIAR: BEAKY MALONE
STRIPES PUBLISHING
JUNE 2016
If there was a world record for lying, Beaky Malone would hold it and in this funny and warm story from BARRY HUTCHISON we discover how many problems his colourful lies causes, especially for his family. However, when his fed-up older sister discovers a 'truth-telling machine' and Beaky steps into it, he comes out unable to lie - and this creates even more chaos than his lies....
We asked author Barry Hutchinson to tell us more about World's Greatest Liar: Beaky Malone.
Q: Have you always wanted to write for children?
A: I have been writing from when I was a child. That was because, living where we did, the nearest cinema was a 140 mile round trip. We only had a small library and one shop near us and because we were on the West Coast of Scotland, where it rains all the time, there wasn't much to do. So I read lots of books, and comics, especially the Beano - I write for that now - and annuals.
I used to go to the library and ask for something on 'aliens' or 'castles' and the librarian would always find me something - until the day I asked for a book about ninjas. For the first time ever she didn't have anything but she went and got me a notebook and told me to write my own book about ninjas. I was seven or eight at the time and that's when I started writing stories, so I have a lot to thank the librarian for.
Q: What was the first proper novel you wrote?
A: When I was 17 I wrote The Curse of the Bog Woman, it was a comedy horror, and I put it online and it was picked up by an American producer. It never got made into a film but it gave me a taste for writing professionally but I didn't think I'd be good enough. I spent 11 years doing 'proper jobs' before I signed my first contract for a children's book, Mr Mumble's Invisible Friends.
Q: How did you end up writing for The Beano?
A: I just got in touch with them saying I'd love to do some work for the comic and they asked me to write a simple script for a character, Gnasher, Dennis's dog. They liked it and asked if I'd like to write for them. So that was quite straight forward.
Q: You're known for writing funny stories for children - do you think funny books get enough credit?
A: At every school I have visited, I have asked 'who likes funny books?' and every child will put up their hand! So I think kids get 'funny' but their teachers might not always...
Q: Why did you decide to write a book where the main character is such a compulsive liar?
A: Once you've been published, you find that publishers come to you with ideas for new books although nine times out of ten, those ideas are terrible! The worst idea I was asked to write was for a series aimed at boys with characters called Fart, Burp and Bogie.
Stripes had this idea about a boy who lies all the time and then goes into a machine which stops him from telling lies, ever. It appealed to me because as a child I was a bit of a compulsive liar, like Beaky. I liked to make up things, I think it was to make other people laugh.
The publisher wanted Beaky to be more of a cunning, manipulative liar but that wasn't how I saw it. I think I saw it more as an extension of myself and I thought we should concentrate more on the family and the effect Beaky's constant lying has on them. So the idea came from the publisher and I took it and ran with it.
Q: If you've based Beaky Malone partly on yourself, what was your biggest lie as a child?
A: Ah, well, this is not something I've shared but when I was eight or nine I wanted a day off school and pretended to have this really bad headache but I over-egged it a bit and ended up in an ambulance where I projectile vomited. That's because I get travel sick but it made them think I was really ill.
I was so deep into the lie by that point that I couldn't go back on it and before I knew it I was in hospital having a CAT scan and a lumber puncture which left me flat on my back for several days - I couldn't even lift my head. After that I went to school every day!
Q: And did it put you off lying?
A: Oh no, I still lied, but we all tell lies, every day, if you think about it. I remember my gran buying me a man's tie when I was about six and I put it on and showed her and pretended to be delighted when I wasn't at all. But I would also make things up in a very obvious Beaky Malone style and that didn't stop.
I think it's hard for children sometimes when they hear adults saying things like 'nice to see you' when they know the adults in question don't like each other. My dad had six sisters and when he saw them coming he'd be swearing under his breath but when he opened the door he'd say how great it was to see them.
Q: What about Beaky's nose, is that also something he inherited from you?
A: I gave him the distinctive nose because I wanted him to be called Beaky - but it's also true that I have quite a distinctive nose, too. That came about because when I was nine or ten, I decided I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast and that I'd start by doing a backflip in the front room but I brought my knees up too far and smashed my nose... So Beaky has a big nose and he's also a bit squint, which will come up later in the story.
Q: How did you decide to move the story forward through Beaky Malone's lies?
A: A lie in a vacuum is nothing; it's the people they affect that make the lie interesting. Beaky Malone's lies obviously affect himself but they also have an effect on his family. Then it struck me that telling the brutal truth, after he enters the truth-telling machine, also had a lot of scope for conflict. That's where the comedy came from.
Q: How did you go about creating the characters, like Beaky's older sister Jodie and the creepy cousin Sophie?
A: I'm not much of a planner and for this book, the characters almost arrived with their own personalities. It almost felt like I was writing what happened to them as an observer. As soon as the cousin Sophie walked into the room, she had this creepy stare and that was it. As for the older sister, I was a younger brother and I annoyed my sister constantly, so that's where that came from!
Q: Destructo the great dane and a family pet is a vibrant character. Is he based on a dog you know?
A: We don't have a dog that tries to eat the television but we do have a golden retriever called Quin, who sets out to wind me up by lying in the most inappropriate place like the first step on the stairs. He's under my feet at every opportunity and always leaves muddy footprints. I love animals, but only when they are someone else's pet, or free!
Writing Destructo did make me laugh though, I think I was just venting my frustration over Quin!
Q: How do you buid humour into the story? Does that come through Beaky's lies or do you take another approach?
A: I think that if I started basing the jokes in the story on whether Barry was lying or not, I'd be in trouble. The humour comes instead from the characters and how they interact. The dialogue between the characters and their relationships is what makes the book funny. I want the characters to entertain me; I'm not sitting there thinking, 'what can you say that would make me laugh?'.
There are also little incidents through the book that are just funny, like the shop where they find the truth-telling machine and it's filled with packets of crisps and the time-telling machine looks a bit like a portaloo. Things like that make me laugh.
I find that a lot of comedy is funnier when you read it to yourself than when you read it out loud so I just have to judge whether it makes me laugh, rather than trying to share the joke with my children to see if it makes them laugh.
Q: What's next for Beaky Malone?
A: In the second book in the series, Beaky's misfortunes include parents evening and a trip to Alton Towers that goes horribly wrong when Beaky is paired up with the school bully!
Q: What's your favourite escape from writing?
A: My son and I make video games and we're about to release our first app! It's about Brian May (from Queen) being turned into an ant....
Night of the Living Ted
Spectre Collectors: Too Ghoul For School
World's Greatest Liar: 2016
