It's OK to Say No: A Let's Talk picture book to help young children understand giving and getting consent

Part of the Let’s Talk… series, It's OK to Say No is a well considered, reassuring book which introduces children to the idea of consent and personal boundaries. Starting with an explanation of what 'consent' means the book then explores a whole range of situations and the emotions which children might feel when in a similar position.

It begins with feeling comfortable/uncomfortable before moving on to giving, and asking for, consent. Appealing, colourful illustrations and simple, clear sections of text make the book accessible to a wide reading audience. The book also makes the point that there is a difference between feeling uncomfortable about something and just not wanting to do it, giving clear examples of when an adult might expect something to be done like teeth cleaning or tidying up. Other considerations like being uncomfortable/comfortable with different things, changing our minds are also explored before the book moves onto what people usually keep 'private' and why touch needs consent.

This is all very carefully and thoughtfully handled, presented in age appropriate language and focusing on everyday situations and concluding with step-by-step advice on how to say 'no' and who to turn to for help if needed. It is perfect for starting conversations with even the youngest children about consent and respect for their own, and others', boundaries.

Additional advice is included at the end of the book for grown-ups, offering further guidance for how to support children develop this sense of respect for themselves and for others. Although pitched at younger children, there is nothing to stop parents, teachers or other adults using the book with mixed aged siblings, friends or classes of older students. An excellent addition to bookshelves! 

32 pages / Reviewed by Sue Wilsher, teacher

Suggested Reading Age 5+

It's OK to Say No is the sort of book that works best on a one to one basis, shared between a child/young person and a trusted adult, rather than as a group read, to start a conversation about consent and what it means. The concept it presents is seemly quite simple - it's okay to say no. However, the first few pages contain a huge amount of text discussing the concept of consent, making it quite a complex read.

In terms of value, it certainly provides a lot of food for thought and to help find out how much or how little a child already knows about a particular area or if it's not even come up on their radar yet. Topics covered include 'What is consent?', 'When should you ask for consent?', 'How do you ask for consent?', 'Are there different ways of saying yes?', 'What should you do when someone says no?', 'Why does touch need consent?', 'When might you need help?'. These are all potentially sensitive areas to discuss but the use of illustration, speech bubbles and bright colours make the book an inviting object to focus on while the conversation takes place, in case either adult or child feels a bit uncomfortable.

It would be very easy to dismiss this book as 'woke' , or even suggest that the concepts, dilemmas and solutions may shift again in the future, as society changes what it thinks and feels is acceptable behaviour. However, this argument is tired and outdated; it's time for adults to accept that we won't return to the 'good old days' and that these social issues matter to our young people.

This book may be a key step forward in helping break down old fashioned attitudes and support children and young people in finding their voices. In a week where I have had a conversation with an adult about whether she should ask her children's consent before uploading photos to social media, there clearly is much discussion still to be had.

32 pages / Reviewed by Wendy Kelly, teacher

Suggested Reading Age 7+